How cyber sex saved my relationshipCan internet sex chat save your relationship?
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No marriage is picture perfect with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. Relationships go through stages, and after 20 years you have felt like you’ve gone through all of them. But what’s after that? Now you’re both in your mid 40s and things have gone a bit stale. You no longer look at her the way you used to, and she no longer looks at you that way either. There are moments when you think that spark is about the be rekindled, and then it fizzles out and you’re back to square one. No longer do you feel like husband and wife, but roommates. No longer are you together because you yearn to be, but because you don’t know where else to be.
I think it happened for us when our youngest daughter was a senior in highschool. Her two older brothers were away at college, the one a freshman, the other finishing up his last year. We knew our daughter would be the next to go and our nest would then be empty. Our kids were growing up, and me and wife were just beginning a new phase of our lives. A phase we didn’t understand completely, perhaps, and were both really afraid of.
When I was younger, the internet wasn’t nearly what it is today. Nowadays, you have sex cam girls, access to millions of pornographic videos for free, and all kinds of adult dating sites for people to indulge their sexual appetites with. They even have affair dating sites where married couples can have affairs.
While I didn’t want to go that far, I knew I needed something else in my life. Something to spark my sexual imagination. When I was younger, college age, the internet was mostly still dial up. Not nearly enough people had access to the quality connections you need to stream a live cam site or buffer a porno. So you had to make due with a little something we called “cybersex”
Cyber sex was basically like a text-based role play of a sexual encounter with what you hoped was a woman. I was surprised to find out, after doing a little searching, that cyber sex was still popular. I had spent many hours of my youth having various cyber intercourses with random girls in chat rooms and over instant messenger, and thought it might be fun to try to find someone to have it with. So I looked online and found that there were not only several places that I could go, but that some of them had evolved into cam to cam free chat. There were places where you could talk to local singles and have a little kinky cyber fun with them, and I decided I had to try it.
My wife and I had spent most of those evenings doing our own thing. There were lots of different shows we liked to watch together, but for the most part, we watched them silently and then did our separate things. I would go do my internet chat thing, and she would read books on her iPad.
A year had passed like this and not much had changed. We made sure that once a week was a date night which was a good start. A spark would begin to reform, then fizzle, then spark again. I was still having cyber sex on internet chat sites, and she was still reading Danielle Steele novels. I was striking up a conversation with a lady in a chat room and our session was particularly steamy. I could feel my pants tightening a bit, and she seemed really into it too. But then she cut the thing short sort of abruptly and asked me if I wanted to do a cam to cam chat. I told her sure, but she should be aware that I was literally a 46 year old man, so that she wasn’t shocked when she saw the bit of gray that was coming into my beard. She said that was ok, she was in her mid 40s, and that cybersex was something she enjoyed when she was young.
So we moved our cybersex to the webcam, and I unbuckled my pants. When I looked at the screen, to my shock, it was my wife’s face I saw. At first she was startled, like she got caught with her hand in the cookie jar or something, and I felt the exact same way. After a couple moments of nervous laughter, we both burst out laughing, and I joined her in the bedroom. We made love that night like it was the first time. It was a new again, and the spark that ignited there never fizzled again.
